I was the heaviest I've ever been while I was abroad this past year, at 135 pounds. I know that for a lot of women, that's their dream goal; but for me it was a wake-up call. At 5'4", 135 lbs. is not exactly overweight, but it is definitely on the heavier side of my BMI (body mass index), and I was definitely starting to feel the effects on my body. I had less energy, my clothes didn't fit the same, and riding my bike started to become more work than it use to be.
I've always been semi-health-conscious, but I'd been letting go a lot, partially due to stress and minor depression. I would turn to food to "comfort" me when I was tired, or when I just wanted to "get away" from the worries of my day-to-day life... but instead I was just adding to my problems.
The crazy thing is, there are only GOOD things that happen when you lose weight. I'm definitely happier, more confident, and have more energy than I use to. The healthier I ate and the more water I drank every day, the less I craved the sweet, salty, buttery, carby, greasy fast-food and junk food that used to "comfort" me. I pushed myself during workouts, not exercising just to the point of breaking a sweat and calling it a day, but really challenging my body to go deeper, jump higher, don't stop, don't let go, just do it! And the crazy thing is, IT STARTED TO SHOW.
I've never seen my body do this before; it transformed right before my eyes. Every time I stepped on the scale, and I lost a pound or two, I'd look in the mirror and notice a hollow I'd never seen before. My jawline became more defined. My thighs started to shrink. WHAT THE FREAK?? YOU MEAN THIS DIET AND EXERCISE THING REALLY WORKS??? Each time the scale dropped a number, it was such a confidence boost, and gave me more motivation to keep working hard.
Sometimes the needle would creep back up, and I'd roll my eyes and quickly step down from the scale. The weird thing was, it never went as high as I'd expect. I'd step on the scale one day and think, "Oh man, it's gonna be a huge number and I'm going to be soooo disappointed in myself today". But then I'd look, and I'd only went up a few numbers. I never let it get me down, but just told myself, "It's a temporary set-back, but you can get it down again. Don't you worry."
When I finally reached 120 lbs., I ran to my parents to share the news and cried. I hadn't been 120 since my freshman year in college (six years ago)! I couldn't believe it; it was an incredible, amazing feeling. From there, each pound I lost felt like a major battle won in victory. When you watch "The Biggest Loser", the double digits are what the contestants look for, and anything below five pounds is not good enough. But for me, each single pound I lost was like winning the World Series, the Heismann Trophy, MVP of the NBA.
Finally, I have made my goal. I'm 115 lbs. strong, at the lower end of my BMI, and ready to face my next challenge: the L.A. Marathon. I'm not looking to lose anymore weight, but hoping to definitely lose some fat and strengthen my muscles. I haven't been 115 since high school! But my body feels just as good as it did when I was 17, if not BETTER.
I don't want people to read this and think that I'm all big-headed and arrogant, and just want to show off. Because telling other people, even my family, that I was 135 lbs. at one time in my life was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm just really proud of the journey I had to take to get where I am today, and wish that more people dear and close to me could come on it with me. I really love you all, and hope that someday I could read your blog about YOUR amazing health change!
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